Self-Talk for Anxiety Management: Tips from a Minneapolis Therapist.

Do you ever find yourself saying unkind things to yourself or treating yourself unfairly? Like when you don’t complete a task on your list and you say, “Why haven’t I just done it already?” or "It shouldn’t be this hard," or "Maybe I’m just lazy," or “So-and-so always gets things done and never procrastinates. Their place is always so perfect. Why can’t I be like them?”

You might be wondering if those statements are truly unkind or unfair. You might be thinking, “This is just how I talk to myself, so what?” or you might be talking to yourself this way and not even realize it. Whether you recognize what you're saying or not, these statements can be shame- or guilt-inducing, potentially contributing to low self-esteem, confidence, or self-worth, as well as heightened stress, worry, or fear.

The Impact of Self-Talk on Anxiety

A focal point in therapy with me is building insight and awareness around how you speak to yourself. How you talk to yourself doesn’t have to be unkind or unfair for it to be addressed in therapy. Often, clients will experience anxious thoughts, and the way we talk to ourselves when we’re anxious also matters. If you’re feeling afraid of trying something new and you say to yourself, “It’s too scary” or “I can’t do it,” this has an impact.

In fact, the impact of this statement, in particular, is how it continues to feed your fear. If you’re feeling afraid when hiking a steep hill and you tell yourself you can’t do it, then you most likely won’t do it. Not only do you miss out on an opportunity to overcome this fear and conquer something new, but you’re also reinforcing your anxiety by letting it know that it’s right (that you should be afraid and can't do scary things). When you come across the next scary new thing, you’re more likely to listen to your anxiety than try something new. 

The more you build experience in not doing the scary thing, the more you’ll continue to feel anxious, and thus the cycle repeats. So, how you talk to yourself truly does matter. If you don't want to live in fear, let your worry take over, or feel bad about yourself, then it's helpful to work on changing your self-talk.

Self-Talk for Anxiety Management and Building Confidence

Take it One Step at a Time

If you’re feeling scared of trying something new, instead of saying “I can’t do it,” try saying “I can do hard things. Even if I need to take several breaks or ask for someone to hold my hand while I do it, I can still do hard things. I’ll just take it one step at a time and do my best.” 

This example of self-talk for anxiety management allows you to build yourself up while also being gentle with yourself.

Practice Self-Compassion

If you’re feeling shame or guilt about not getting something done, instead of being hard on yourself, try saying, “Sometimes it takes me a while to get things done, and even though I’m not a big fan of this, that’s okay. I will get it done when I get it done,” or “Although I feel pressure to have my house be perfect all of the time, sometimes there is going to be a mess or something is going to be out of place, and even though that’s really hard for me, that’s okay. I’m only human, and I’m doing my best.”

This example of self-talk allows you to give yourself grace while challenging perfectionistic or avoidant tendencies.

Build Confidence

If you want to give something a try, but you're still not feeling totally confident, practice saying, "I am a capable human being, and I trust myself. No matter the outcome—good, bad, or in-between—I will do my best to manage it."

This example allows you to build confidence within by encouraging you to trust yourself while you learn to manage the outcome instead of preventing it.

Benefits of Self-Talk

Self-talk allows you to feel more empowered while also practicing self-compassion and empathy, which are powerful ways to manage anxiety, build confidence, and motivate long-term growth and change.

Happy Empowering Self-Talk, my friends!

Positive self-talk in action: building confidence with the mantra "You Can Do It," surrounded by scattered letter tiles on a pink background.

Looking for More Support in Managing Your Anxiety?

If you’re interested in getting some mental health support around managing your anxiety and building confidence, I’d love to connect!

I'm a licensed mental health counselor for women in Minnesota, and I specialize in all areas of high-functioning anxiety, including perfectionism, procrastination, self-doubt, and burnout.

My therapy services are offered virtually, so I can see women from anywhere across the state of Minnesota.

I offer a free 15-minute phone or video consultation so you can get a feel for whether I'm a good fit for you before committing to an initial session.

You can schedule a consultation right from my website: prausguidanceandhealing.com.

I'd love to connect with you!

Samantha

Inspirational message on a letter board reminds us that while fear is a reaction, choosing courage is a decision, surrounded by a serene arrangement of dried flowers and a candle.

Disclaimer

Praus Guidance & Healing, LLC, and its counselors' blog posts are not substitutes for therapeutic treatment or services. Our blog posts aim to be psychoeducational, informational, and marketing content.

While the information may improve mental health when applied, we cannot guarantee any specific results. Please understand that applying the information from these posts is at your own risk.

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Keep in mind:

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