Overcoming Indecision: A Helpful Technique from an Anxiety Therapist to Build Confidence and Decisiveness

I am no stranger to analysis paralysis. I can overthink and overanalyze just about anything to the point of quite literally becoming paralyzed. I spent an entire year (or perhaps longer) thinking about whether I should purchase a chair.

“Was it the right chair?” “What if I pick the wrong color?” “Should I just get a whole new set of furniture instead?” “What if it’s not comfortable enough?” “Will guests like it?” “Do we need more than one chair?” “Is it too expensive?” “Do we really need it?”

My thoughts went on and on. I agonized over this decision. I spent so much time and energy trying to figure out the perfect answer when, in reality, there wasn’t one. If you can relate, you might be suffering from indecisiveness. 

What is Indecisiveness?

Indecisiveness is the inability to make a decision. It often stems from fear, worry, or being overwhelmed. You may fear that you’re making the wrong decision or worry that there are better options out there. Or you may feel overwhelmed by having too many options. Often, stress and anxiety are the emotions driving the thoughts that lead to indecisiveness. 

Indecision can happen around just about anything. You may agonize over what to wear or what to buy. You may find that you have a hard time choosing this over that. You may even find it difficult to order something from the menu when you go out for dinner because there are just too many choices. 

Here’s How Indecision May Be Hurting You and What You Can Do About It

The thing about indecision is that it’s time-consuming and inefficient. It actually takes more time, energy, and effort to try to make the “right” decision than to just make a decision and allow yourself to deal with the consequences (good or bad). And it can actually prolong or increase your worry or fear, causing a repetitive cycle of anxiety and avoidance coping—not doing the thing as a means of trying to reduce the anxiety.

Here are some steps to help you overcome indecision from an anxiety therapist who's learning how to be more decisive:

1. Identify your options. 

For example: “I could wear the purple shirt or the green sweater” or “I could get the salmon or the burger.”

2. Once you have identified your options, ask yourself what the worst outcome of each choice might be. 

For example: “If I wear the purple shirt, I might get a little cold, and if I wear the green sweater, I might get too warm” or “If I get the salmon, it may not be good, and I will miss out on a delicious dinner, and if I get the burger, I might be eating more calories than I think I should tonight.”

3. Once you have the outcomes identified, ask yourself which option feels more manageable at this time. Don’t ask yourself which option is best, and don’t look for the perfect option. Just focus on which outcome is literally the most manageable in this moment. 

For example: “I would rather be too hot than cold, so being hot is the most manageable outcome at this time” or “It feels worse to miss out on a nice dinner, so eating extra calories feels more manageable.” 

4. Make your decision based on the most manageable outcome. 

For example: “I am going to wear the green sweater because I would rather be too hot than too cold” or “I am going to order the burger because I would rather know that I am going to like what I eat and have a nice dinner than feel like I’m missing out.”

Here's How I Applied This Process to My Indecision About Buying a New Chair

1. My options were to buy a new chair or leave things the way they were.

2. The worst outcome of each choice was that I would buy a new chair, hate it, and then have to return it, or I wouldn’t buy a new chair, and perhaps guests would have to awkwardly squeeze onto the couch, sit on the floor, or we could use lawn chairs as a substitute.

3. The most manageable outcome at the time was to buy a new chair and risk not liking it and returning it. This felt more manageable than squeezing onto a couch or using lawn chairs, as those felt like they were only going to be a short-term solution anyway—eventually, we would need to figure out a new furniture situation—whereas buying a chair would provide a long-term solution for the situation, even if I didn’t like it in the space and had to try again with a whole different chair. 

4. I chose to buy a new chair. As soon as I made the decision, I felt immediate relief and was actually pretty excited to see how it would look in our space. The chair turned out to be a good fit for the space, and I'm genuinely happy I bought it. It also encouraged me to follow through with some other decisions I have been putting off.

The Benefits of Using This Technique to Overcome Indecision

1. You are giving yourself the ability to identify and face your fears and worries head-on. 

   
   

2. As you face your worries and fears head-on, you’ll start feeling more confident and sure of yourself, and you’ll begin to understand that you are capable of managing any of the not-so-great outcomes. 

   
   

3. When you’re feeling more confident and sure of yourself, you’ll be able to better manage future worries and fears, helping lessen your anxiety and avoidance overall. 

If you’re suffering from indecision and are interested in working on becoming more decisive, try the steps above. The reality is, no matter what decision you make, you are going to feel so much relief once you do. So get out there and make some decisions. Remember, you’ve got this and you can handle whatever the outcome is.

Friends sharing a moment of joy and empowerment, celebrating the growth in their confidence through intentional decision-making.

Looking for More Support Around Your Indecisiveness?

If you’re interested in getting some mental health support around managing your indecisive tendencies, I’d love to connect!

I'm a licensed mental health therapist for women in Minnesota, and I specialize in all areas of high-functioning stress and anxiety, including the management of indecision.

My therapy services are offered virtually, so I can see women from anywhere across the state of Minnesota.

I offer a free 15-minute phone consultation so you can get a feel for whether we're a good fit before you commit to an initial session.

If you're interested in scheduling, fill out the contact form on my website prausguidanceandhealing.com to get in touch.

I'd love to hear from you!

Samantha

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