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Creating and Preserving Healthy Boundaries

  • Writer: Samantha Choudhry, MSE, LPCC
    Samantha Choudhry, MSE, LPCC
  • Feb 13, 2020
  • 2 min read

Updated: Feb 19, 2021

You may be noticing that the word "boundaries" has been increasing it's popularity amongst your friends, workplace or social media, but you might not be fully aware of the meaning behind this word. So, what the heck are boundaries? Boundaries are those little (or big) rules, limits, or guidelines that YOU put in place to help protect your body, personal space, and privacy. They are super important for your overall health and wellbeing, not to mention your personal relationships.

Tips for creating and preserving healthy boundaries:

1. Take what you can tolerate into consideration and then set your boundaries based on your tolerance level.

2. Get in touch with your feelings and use these to help you check in with yourself. Feelings such as resentment, stress, anxiety, discomfort, guilt and fear are good indicators that your boundaries are being crossed.

3. Give yourself permission to set boundaries.


4. State your limits and let others know exactly how they can respect your boundaries.


5. Be assertive, firm, respectful and clear about your limits.


6. Set boundaries based on what you want from your relationships.


7. DO know that some people will test your boundaries.


8. DO NOT apologize, get angry, or justify your boundaries.


9. Put yourself first and give yourself permission to take care of you.


10. Make setting boundaries a priority.


11. Develop a support system of people who respect and honor your boundaries.


12. Eliminate people from your life that try to manipulate, control or abuse you.


13. Remember to continue checking in with your feelings. If you notice emotional red flags, reflect on your tolerance level and reinforce your boundaries.

If you need help with setting or enforcing boundaries, reach out to your support system and ask for help. Remember to be assertive when setting boundaries and know that setting boundaries takes practice and time, especially if this is new territory for you. I know a little something about boundaries, so if you'd like to learn more, connect with me. I'd be happy to help you get started!

~Samantha


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