With the competitiveness of today's world and the need to be the best, it's not uncommon for high-achieving adults to struggle with perfectionism. Perfectionism refers to the tendency to set excessively high standards and strive for flawlessness in various areas of your life. Achievers struggling with perfectionism have a firm belief that performance = success.
While having high standards can be beneficial in motivating top performers to achieve their goals, perfectionists work towards obtaining success at the expense of their mental health and overall well-being.
Perfectionism can cause heightened stress and anxiety due to an intense fear of failure, making mistakes, or not being good enough. Many perfectionists struggle significantly with motivation and engage in avoidance coping (not joining something for fear not being the best, waiting until the last minute to complete a big project, binge watching Netflix for hours instead of working on tasks) because the fear of failure is so overwhelming, it’s often paralyzing.
Perfectionism can manifest in various ways. If you’re wondering if you are experiencing difficulties due to perfectionistic tendencies, here are some common indicators to look out for:
1. High self-imposed standards: Top performers with perfectionistic tendencies often set extremely high standards for themselves in various areas of their lives, such as work, academics, extracurricular activities, appearance, or relationships. Perfectionists may feel intense pressure to achieve perfection in several areas and may be overly critical of their own performance.
2. Setting unrealistic expectations: High-achieving perfectionists often set unattainable goals for themselves, leading to constant feelings of dissatisfaction and self-criticism.
3. Fear of failure: Top performing perfectionists may have an intense fear of making mistakes or failing. They may avoid taking risks or trying new things due to the fear of not meeting their own or others' expectations.
4. Excessive self-criticism: Perfectionistic high achievers tend to be overly self-critical and have a harsh inner dialogue. They may be quick to blame themselves for any perceived shortcomings or mistakes, even if they’re not that big of a deal.
5. Procrastination and avoidance: Some perfectionistic high performers may struggle with procrastination or avoidance tendencies. They may delay starting or completing tasks or projects because they fear not being able to meet their own high standards. This can lead to increased stress and anxiety.
6. Difficulty accepting criticism: High achievers with perfectionism may have difficulty accepting constructive criticism or feedback. They may take any criticism personally and view it as a reflection of their worth or abilities.
7. Emotional distress: Perfectionistic high performers may experience feelings of frustration, disappointment, or dissatisfaction when they perceive themselves as falling short of their own expectations.
8. Negative impact on mental health: Perfectionism is often associated with increased levels of stress, anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem.
It is important to note that occasional perfectionistic tendencies are common among high achievers and top performers. However, if these signs continue and significantly impact your well-being or ability to function, it may be beneficial to seek support from a mental health professional who can provide guidance and strategies for managing perfectionism in a healthy way.
Recognizing the warning signs is vital in getting the support you need, so you can manage your perfectionism and cope with the daily stressors of life. I specialize in counseling high-achieving women experiencing heightened stress and anxiety due to perfectionism. If you’re interested in learning more about my practice and how I can be of support, visit my website: prausguidanceandhealing.com.
You can read more information about my services for perfectionism here.
If you are struggling with perfectionism, I’d love to be of support. I offer a complimentary 15-minute phone consultation to ensure I'm a good fit for your unique needs. Complete the contact form on my website to get in touch. I’d love to hear from you!
Samantha Choudhry, MSE, LPCC
Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor
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